Sarcasm? It's cool. Way more clever than saying "Dude" or "Duh" or something. But apparently (at least for the past year or so) my sarcasm sensor has been malfunctioning.
(Oh no, I'm starting to rhyme again. Apparently that part of my brain is still working correctly.)
I have no problem being sarcastic. I've got the eye roll and the vocal inflections down pat. But I can't seem to pick up on it. Or if I do pick up on it, I have no idea how to respond. Case in point:
My roomie Kara and I went to Costco last night to return a broken vacuum. The lines were horrifically long, so we each jumped in a different line. A guy standing in the line behind me says "Oooh, y'all are doin' a violation." I look around to see if he's going to tell on me. He chuckles. "Oooh, you're going to get in trouble, you can't do that." I was pretty determined to keep my spot in line, so I just stand there and shrug and say something like "Oh, this is against the rules?" But when he folds his arms and shakes his head again, I figure I'd better get out while I still can. I pick up the vacuum. His eyes get big. "Oh no, I was just being sarcastic, I was just teasing!" So at this point I know he's being sarcastic, but I have no idea how to respond. I laugh, and then start moving over toward Kara's line. "It looks like hers is going faster, I'm just going to head over there." He feels so bad, he starts waving me back. "No, no, don't worry about it! You can stay here!" I keep moving. And smiling politely, holding my vacuum. His last-ditch effort was -- "Well, if you decide to come back, I'll save this spot for you!" Aw, what a nice guy. Too bad I couldn't process anything he was saying to me.
For a fun read, check out this NYTimes article about how the brain detects sarcasm.
I think daily doses of Stewart and Colbert may be my only hope now. Phew, this could be tough. :)
Friday, January 16, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Quote of the (yester)Day
While I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting room yesterday, an elderly gentleman approached the receptionist's desk...
Elderly Gentleman: "Hello."
Receptionist: "Can I help you?"
Elderly Gentleman: "People have been tryin' to do that for years."
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Not my finest Sunday...
So I know that "keeping the Sabbath day holy" is a bizarre or outdated concept to most of the world, but it's something I've realized I really need to put more effort into and take more seriously.
Unfortunately, I woke up this morning and realized that the Sunday I had planned was not at all what it should have been. I hadn't prepared to fast (I shouldn't have even been fasting today, but I forgot to do it last week), I'd be getting paid to work, I would miss most of church, I would spend money on the metro because I procrastinated putting more money on my card, I would be eating out, I'd be going to some beautiful gardens with a friend (not a big deal, except for the entrance fee....), and probably eating out again.
I'm not perfect, I've done all these things on Sunday before, but I think having them all happen on the same day really hit home to me. Most of the time when I break the Sabbath, I look at it as unavoidable -- and sometimes maybe it is. But often if I would just take the time to plan ahead, I could do a lot better. I keep thinking of the Israelites and their manna (Exodus 16). God commanded them to gather and cook twice as much manna the day before the Sabbath so that they could keep the Sabbath day holy. As I was thinking this morning, I wrestled a lot with whether I was rationalizing away my principles and beliefs or if these were just minor, unavoidable technicalities. Looking back on God's commandments then and now, I realize keeping the Sabbath day holy isn't a bunch of technicalities; it's one of the ten commandments, a pretty big deal. And sure, no one's going to sit there and tell me exactly what I can and can't do on Sunday, there will be gray areas and nuances. But in the future I am going to try my hardest to think ahead a little more when planning out my Sundays.
It's not really about spending the money, it's more about keeping God and Christ in mind, taking the time to go to church to worship, and giving others the chance to do the same (if you're spending money, you're causing someone else to work on the Sabbath etc).
I won't tell you how my day turned out -- let's just say some things I was able to adjust and some things I messed up on. And why do I have a (work-in-progress) commitment to observing the Sabbath? Because it reflects my commitment to God, and when I put God first in my life, other things fall into place (it's not always pretty and not always perfect, but I know he's there for me). I've got so much going on right now and so many big decisions to make, I can't afford not to put God first.
(For good reference...)
Unfortunately, I woke up this morning and realized that the Sunday I had planned was not at all what it should have been. I hadn't prepared to fast (I shouldn't have even been fasting today, but I forgot to do it last week), I'd be getting paid to work, I would miss most of church, I would spend money on the metro because I procrastinated putting more money on my card, I would be eating out, I'd be going to some beautiful gardens with a friend (not a big deal, except for the entrance fee....), and probably eating out again.
I'm not perfect, I've done all these things on Sunday before, but I think having them all happen on the same day really hit home to me. Most of the time when I break the Sabbath, I look at it as unavoidable -- and sometimes maybe it is. But often if I would just take the time to plan ahead, I could do a lot better. I keep thinking of the Israelites and their manna (Exodus 16). God commanded them to gather and cook twice as much manna the day before the Sabbath so that they could keep the Sabbath day holy. As I was thinking this morning, I wrestled a lot with whether I was rationalizing away my principles and beliefs or if these were just minor, unavoidable technicalities. Looking back on God's commandments then and now, I realize keeping the Sabbath day holy isn't a bunch of technicalities; it's one of the ten commandments, a pretty big deal. And sure, no one's going to sit there and tell me exactly what I can and can't do on Sunday, there will be gray areas and nuances. But in the future I am going to try my hardest to think ahead a little more when planning out my Sundays.
It's not really about spending the money, it's more about keeping God and Christ in mind, taking the time to go to church to worship, and giving others the chance to do the same (if you're spending money, you're causing someone else to work on the Sabbath etc).
I won't tell you how my day turned out -- let's just say some things I was able to adjust and some things I messed up on. And why do I have a (work-in-progress) commitment to observing the Sabbath? Because it reflects my commitment to God, and when I put God first in my life, other things fall into place (it's not always pretty and not always perfect, but I know he's there for me). I've got so much going on right now and so many big decisions to make, I can't afford not to put God first.
(For good reference...)
Friday, January 9, 2009
What about elevensies? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?
Have you ever had a day when you go to work, get some stuff done, go to IHOP for lunch with your co-workers (sweet!), have an all-you-can-eat pancake eating competition (I love food), go back to work, get some more stuff done, almost fall asleep at your desk (pancake effect), come home, practice the guitar (new Regina Spektor song), clean the fridge, watch 4 episodes of LOST (heaven bless my roommates for putting up with me, or for also getting addicted, I'm not sure which is the case), and write on your blog?
Well, I have.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Kreizy Ates
Hollie, this one's for you :) I know it's been over a month since you tagged me....so at long last, here's my post! Thanks for giving me something to blog about -- I'm bored out of my mind (roommates still out of town), and a by-product of being bored-out-of-one's mind is not having anything interesting to write about.
Without further ado -- My Crazy Eights:
Eight Shows I watch:
1. Cash Cab (it is my dream to perchance hail the Cash Cab in NYC)
2. LOST
3. LOST
4. LOST
5. LOST
6. LOST
7. LOST
8. LOST (I just watched Season 3 of Lost, only to find out I still have to watch Season 4 to be completely caught up. Wow, I'm behind. Your senior year of college will do that to you, I guess.)
Eight things I did in the past 24 hours:
1. Watched Get Smart with my parents and sister
2. Slept (in!)
3. Helped my mom make 24-hour salad (mmmm)
4. Practiced a new song on the guitar
5. Listened to my little sister speak at church (she did great!)
6. Drove back to Arlington listening to a "borrowed" David Archuleta CD (don't know if Mom will get it back :)
7. Made a cuppa tea and curled up with a good book.
8. Blogged!
Eight places I like to eat:
1. Bamian (Afghan food)
2. the taqueria on 14th St.
3. Costco (c'mon, you like eating there too :)
4. Cafe Rio and Chipotle (yes, it is possible to like both)
5. Bangkok 54
6. Cheesecake Factory (oops, that should have been #2)
7. Goodberry's (NC frozen custard)
8. Wilber's BBQ
9. Ben's Chili Bowl (sorry, I keep thinking of more places. I'll stop now.)
Eight things on my wishlist:
Since Christmas is over, I'm going to list eight gifts that I'm grateful for!
1. A brand-spankin' new folk guitar. I'M SO SPOILED!!!!
2. Two new almanacky-trivia-type books (thanks, Mary, they're awesome!)
3. A totally way California-esque t-shirt from my bro.
4. Measuring cups and spoons (aren't little sisters great?)
5. Fuzzy socks (little sister again, gotta love 'em)
6. A William Goldman book (it's even better when you have 3 little sisters!)
7. West Side Story (movie night, anyone?)
8. LDS magazines in el Espanol!
Eight tags:
Um, I'm a complete hypocrite because I love being tagged but I hate tagging other people....so.....if you read my blog (there are probably only eight of you anyway :), please consider yourself voluntarily tagged (if you like). Knock yourself out!
(On a side note, I used 21 sets of parenthesis in this post. Kind of out of control. At least I catch myself when I'm about to do a parenthesis within a parenthesis. That's just uncalled for.)
Without further ado -- My Crazy Eights:
Eight Shows I watch:
1. Cash Cab (it is my dream to perchance hail the Cash Cab in NYC)
2. LOST
3. LOST
4. LOST
5. LOST
6. LOST
7. LOST
8. LOST (I just watched Season 3 of Lost, only to find out I still have to watch Season 4 to be completely caught up. Wow, I'm behind. Your senior year of college will do that to you, I guess.)
Eight things I did in the past 24 hours:
1. Watched Get Smart with my parents and sister
2. Slept (in!)
3. Helped my mom make 24-hour salad (mmmm)
4. Practiced a new song on the guitar
5. Listened to my little sister speak at church (she did great!)
6. Drove back to Arlington listening to a "borrowed" David Archuleta CD (don't know if Mom will get it back :)
7. Made a cuppa tea and curled up with a good book.
8. Blogged!
Eight places I like to eat:
1. Bamian (Afghan food)
2. the taqueria on 14th St.
3. Costco (c'mon, you like eating there too :)
4. Cafe Rio and Chipotle (yes, it is possible to like both)
5. Bangkok 54
6. Cheesecake Factory (oops, that should have been #2)
7. Goodberry's (NC frozen custard)
8. Wilber's BBQ
9. Ben's Chili Bowl (sorry, I keep thinking of more places. I'll stop now.)
Eight things on my wishlist:
Since Christmas is over, I'm going to list eight gifts that I'm grateful for!
1. A brand-spankin' new folk guitar. I'M SO SPOILED!!!!
2. Two new almanacky-trivia-type books (thanks, Mary, they're awesome!)
3. A totally way California-esque t-shirt from my bro.
4. Measuring cups and spoons (aren't little sisters great?)
5. Fuzzy socks (little sister again, gotta love 'em)
6. A William Goldman book (it's even better when you have 3 little sisters!)
7. West Side Story (movie night, anyone?)
8. LDS magazines in el Espanol!
Eight tags:
Um, I'm a complete hypocrite because I love being tagged but I hate tagging other people....so.....if you read my blog (there are probably only eight of you anyway :), please consider yourself voluntarily tagged (if you like). Knock yourself out!
(On a side note, I used 21 sets of parenthesis in this post. Kind of out of control. At least I catch myself when I'm about to do a parenthesis within a parenthesis. That's just uncalled for.)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wishing You a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!
Shoot, you can't really see the poem. It works better as an actual Christmas card (send me your address if you want one, I have a few extras). And I can't (for the life of me) remember what all it says, but you'll just have to take my word for it that it rhymes. And it lists all the places I've been this year. That I can remember!
New Hampshire
Vermont
Maine
Williamsburg and Jamestown
Charlottesville (Monticello)
NYC
Annapolis
Utah
New Mexico
Kirtland and Xenia, OH
Boston
Jacksonville and Goldsboro, NC
Tunis, Tunisia
Rome, Italy!!!!
It's been a fabulous year, no complaints. I hope all of you are having a lovely Christmas/holiday break, and Happy New Year too!!!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
This is your song....
Has God ever played a song just for you? When you're having a bad day? I don't know how He does it, but He always jumps in just in the nick of time with a song for me. I know some of you out there can just hum your favorite song or sing sunshine-y things when you're feeling down, but I can never quite muster it up -- I need divine intervention!
Today it was Shostakovich's "Festive Overture" on the radio. Dang, it was definitely not the best of days today, for way too many reasons, but as soon as that song came on in my car -- I was belting out the clarinet line at the top of my lungs! It made my day!
Since moving to Arlington, I often go running to "cool down" after work. Unfortunately, it usually doesn't cool me down -- I just stress more about how I can barely breathe and how my legs are throbbing......until.....I hear the church down the street start chiming out "Lead Kindly Light" from the belfry. Turns my mood around everytime.
Or sometimes it's hearing someone else's i-pod on the metro humming a Josh Groban song. Or some smooth jazz coming from the hotel awning across the street. Every once in a while, I'll even hear a high school marching band practicing as I pass by. A little ABBA while cleaning the kitchen. And yes, I'll admit, a good Death Cab for Cutie song every once in awhile is just what I need to hear.
Anyway, I don't know if God put all those songs there just for me, or if he just helps me to realize how lucky I am to have music around to cheer me up. Either way, I am grateful for the SOUND OF MUSIC!!!!
Today it was Shostakovich's "Festive Overture" on the radio. Dang, it was definitely not the best of days today, for way too many reasons, but as soon as that song came on in my car -- I was belting out the clarinet line at the top of my lungs! It made my day!
Since moving to Arlington, I often go running to "cool down" after work. Unfortunately, it usually doesn't cool me down -- I just stress more about how I can barely breathe and how my legs are throbbing......until.....I hear the church down the street start chiming out "Lead Kindly Light" from the belfry. Turns my mood around everytime.
Or sometimes it's hearing someone else's i-pod on the metro humming a Josh Groban song. Or some smooth jazz coming from the hotel awning across the street. Every once in a while, I'll even hear a high school marching band practicing as I pass by. A little ABBA while cleaning the kitchen. And yes, I'll admit, a good Death Cab for Cutie song every once in awhile is just what I need to hear.
Anyway, I don't know if God put all those songs there just for me, or if he just helps me to realize how lucky I am to have music around to cheer me up. Either way, I am grateful for the SOUND OF MUSIC!!!!
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