I'm Sarcastically Challenged

Sarcasm? It's cool. Way more clever than saying "Dude" or "Duh" or something. But apparently (at least for the past year or so) my sarcasm sensor has been malfunctioning.

(Oh no, I'm starting to rhyme again. Apparently that part of my brain is still working correctly.)

I have no problem being sarcastic. I've got the eye roll and the vocal inflections down pat. But I can't seem to pick up on it. Or if I do pick up on it, I have no idea how to respond. Case in point:

My roomie Kara and I went to Costco last night to return a broken vacuum. The lines were horrifically long, so we each jumped in a different line. A guy standing in the line behind me says "Oooh, y'all are doin' a violation." I look around to see if he's going to tell on me. He chuckles. "Oooh, you're going to get in trouble, you can't do that." I was pretty determined to keep my spot in line, so I just stand there and shrug and say something like "Oh, this is against the rules?" But when he folds his arms and shakes his head again, I figure I'd better get out while I still can. I pick up the vacuum. His eyes get big. "Oh no, I was just being sarcastic, I was just teasing!" So at this point I know he's being sarcastic, but I have no idea how to respond. I laugh, and then start moving over toward Kara's line. "It looks like hers is going faster, I'm just going to head over there." He feels so bad, he starts waving me back. "No, no, don't worry about it! You can stay here!" I keep moving. And smiling politely, holding my vacuum. His last-ditch effort was -- "Well, if you decide to come back, I'll save this spot for you!" Aw, what a nice guy. Too bad I couldn't process anything he was saying to me.

For a fun read, check out this NYTimes article about how the brain detects sarcasm.

I think daily doses of Stewart and Colbert may be my only hope now. Phew, this could be tough. :)